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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28099647">always leads to you and my hometown</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alteridemlynch/pseuds/alteridemlynch'>alteridemlynch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pynch as taylor swift songs [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dreamer Trilogy - Maggie Stiefvater, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, Holidays, M/M, Reunions, based on the taylor swift song obviously</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:15:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,886</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28099647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alteridemlynch/pseuds/alteridemlynch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"We could just ride around<br/>And the road not taken looks real good now<br/>And it always leads to you and my hometown"<br/>(Tis the Damn Season, Taylor Swift) </p><p>----- </p><p>Adam returns to Henrietta after 5 years to celebrate the holidays with Blue. When he runs into an ex, he begins to regret his decision to ever leave.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pynch as taylor swift songs [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>always leads to you and my hometown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! I'm obsessed with Evermore and needed to write some pynch for the new album. I won't lie this fic is kind of EVERYWHERE and doesn't even necessarily follow the plot of the song (cause these boys would never be casual) but I wanted to bring in some of that angst. So hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p3">Adam hadn’t been back to Henrietta in more than 5 years; he left for college and never looked back. But this was his first year since then he’d be alone for the holidays. Ever since his freshmen year at Harvard, he’s spent the holidays with the others students stuck in Cambridge, huddled in dorm rooms and later apartments, exchanging cheap gifts and eating takeout. Some of them had families they didn’t want to spend the holidays with. Some lived too far away to justify the cost of flying home. Others didn’t have a home to go back to, like Adam.</p><p class="p3">Growing up, he never celebrated the holidays—they were times he didn’t have the excuse of school to get out of the trailer, times he was forced to stay at home with his parents. He hated holidays. But now? Now that he’d had a taste of what they could be, how wonderful and fun they were, he couldn’t imagine <em>not </em>celebrating.</p><p class="p3">This small cluster of classmates became his found family for the holidays, all the way through graduation.</p><p class="p3">But then they left—left Harvard, left Cambridge, left Massachusetts all together—and Adam found himself spending Thanksgiving alone in his tiny LA apartment after moving there for work.</p><p class="p3">He had texted Blue that night and she’d invited him home for Christmas. He’d be hesitant at first—there weren’t a lot of good memories associated with Henrietta—but his desire to not be alone was such a pounding ache in his chest, he told her yes.</p><p class="p3">He was really regretting that now, as he stepped off the plane (which had been <em>absurdly </em>expensive) and walked towards baggage claim.</p><p class="p3">His regret faded at the sight of his best friend standing by the carousel with a stupidly cute sign with his name on it.</p><p class="p3">“Adam!” Blue cheered and he couldn’t help but smile as she dropped the poster board and practically jumped into his arms.</p><p class="p3">“Hey, Blue,” he said, tucking his face into her hair. God, he had missed her. Since Adam refused to return to Virginia, Blue (and Gansey, sometimes) tried to visit him in Boston at least once or twice a year. But since he’d moved to LA, she hadn’t been able to come. It’d been nearly 7 months since he’d last seen her (at graduation, beaming from the audience next to Gansey) and he missed her desperately. “Thanks for picking me up.”</p><p class="p3">“I’m just happy you’re here.” Blue grinned. “And I know Mom is, too. And Orla, obviously.” Blue rolled her eyes and Adam chocked back a laugh. The women of Fox Way were eccentric, but after months of mundanity working at a law firm in LA, he was ready for some of that eccentricity.</p><p class="p3">“Can we pretend I’m married or something so she doesn’t flirt with me?” Adam asked.</p><p class="p3">“I don’t think that would stop her,” Blue groaned. Adam nodded in agreement and then grabbed his bag as it came around on the carousel. Blue gestured towards the exit and Adam followed her, stepping into the cool Virginia air for the first time in years.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em>———</em>
</p><p class="p3">Adam spent the rest of the day catching up with Blue, Maura, and the various cousins and aunts that occupied 300 Fox Way. The house was crowded and chaotic and smelled like fresh pie and warm tea, and Adam loved it. He helped decorate their tree with a wild assortment of strange ornaments and listened to psychics answering frenzied holiday-related calls from clients. It was a strange but wonderful return.</p><p class="p3">“I’m going over to the Ganseys tonight for dinner,” Blue told him as she grabbed a yogurt from the fridge. “Do you want to come?”</p><p class="p3">Adam debated it. He wanted to see Gansey of course, but didn’t necessarily want to deal with his parents and sister. “No, that’s okay. I’ll see Gans tomorrow.”</p><p class="p3">“You sure? You’ll be stuck here with my family for a few hours . . . “ Blue said, raising her eyebrows in disbelief.</p><p class="p3">“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” Adam told her. “I’ll go for a walk or do some work or something.”</p><p class="p3">Blue looked at him skeptically before taking a bite and mumbling <em>alright </em>into her spoon.</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">When Blue left around six, Adam <em>did </em>go on a walk. He found himself headed towards the center of town, going nowhere in particular, memories resurfacing. He didn’t know how long he’d walked — an hour maybe? — but he found himself incredibly hungry. He could go back to Fox Way (Maura would kindly offer him dinner) but he didn’t have the energy to walk back on an empty stomach. So he wandered towards Nino’s, the directions buried in the back of his brain, and sat down, relieved.</p><p class="p3">He hadn’t been to Nino’s in 5 years, either, but it was just how he remembered. He ordered a pizza for himself and it was as mediocre as he expected, which made him smile. The vinyl booths were gross and the pizza was greasy but he felt content, sitting there.</p><p class="p3">Until he saw him.</p><p class="p3">He was dressed in all black, per usual, the leather jacket clinging to his shoulders. Soft curls covered his head, which were surprising and new and beautiful. He was tall and bulky and absolutely ripped, his jeans hugging his legs perfectly. Adam nearly dropped the slice of pizza in his hands, mouth agape, as he took in the sight of Ronan Lynch walking into Nino’s.</p><p class="p3">“Fuck,” he muttered, ducking his head.</p><p class="p3">He had left Ronan, all those years ago. Chosen college and his career over him, fleeing the town he felt trapped in as soon as he could. They’d had a rushed summer romance, full of slow kisses and morning cuddles and long car rides. It was the happiest he’d ever been, and yet, Adam had called it off.</p><p class="p3">They hadn’t talked since.</p><p class="p3">He regretted it often—hated himself for it, for making that choice. Even though he had loved college and was finally in a job he liked that paid well, he’d often berate himself for leaving Henrietta. Leaving Ronan.</p><p class="p3">But he couldn’t come back. He had known that; he couldn’t come and beg for Ronan to take him back, to wait for him, to move to Boston, or whatever it was. He wasn’t going to make Ronan do that, to put him through that pain. He’d made his choice to leave, so he’d deal with the consequence.</p><p class="p3">Now here he was, five years later, looking in awe as Ronan sat down at a booth across the restaurant from him and glared at the menu. It was like nothing had changed.</p><p class="p3">In the back of his mind, Adam wondered why Ronan was here, on Christmas Eve-Eve, alone at Nino’s. His brothers surely would be in town. So why was he here? What was he doing?</p><p class="p3">He pulled himself together, taking a deep breath, and closing his eyes. He debated whether or not he should say hi. Would that be weird? Rude? Stupid? Adam didn’t know, but he <em>did </em>know he missed Ronan. Had never <em>stopped </em>missing Ronan, if he was being honest with himself.</p><p class="p3">He was contemplating all of this, so absorbed in his own thoughts, trying to push the panic building inside him down, that he didn’t notice or hear someone sliding into he booth opposite him. “So it’s true. You really are back,” Ronan said grimly and Adam opened his eyes.</p><p class="p3">Adam watched as Ronan took him in—the changes to his figure, his hair, his skin, everything—and Adam did the same. Adam swallowed hard, unsure what to say, so he just said “Ronan.”</p><p class="p3">“Gansey said Blue invited you here for Christmas,” he said, staring blankly at him. His face devoid of expression, of pain. Adam briefly wondered his feelings were all one-sided, if Ronan didn’t miss him or care about him at all. If Ronan was <em>glad </em>he left. “I didn’t think you’d say yes.”</p><p class="p3">Adam nodded slowly, trying to steady himself. “Yeah. I, uh, didn’t want to spend the holidays alone, I guess.”</p><p class="p3">Ronan just grunted, crossing his arms. Adam stared at him, searching his face for any hint of emotion; something that might tell Adam how to act. But there was nothing there; Ronan had always been especially skilled at masking his emotions.</p><p class="p3">“Why are yo—shouldn’t you be with your brothers?” Adam finally asked, trying desperately to fill the silence.</p><p class="p3">“They’re both here with their girlfriends. It’s disgusting,” Ronan answered, a flicker of a smile dancing across his face, and Adam felt himself relax a bit.</p><p class="p3">“Gross,” Adam agreed. Ronan groaned in agreement before settling into another moment of silence. Adam wanted to ask what he’s been up to these past year. Does he have a job? Does he have other friends? Has he dated anyone else?</p><p class="p3">Adam didn’t <em>really </em>want to know about that last one—he couldn’t imagine Ronan with anyone else, even after all these years—but at the same time curiosity was gnawing at him. He opened his mouth, about to ask him something, <em>anything, </em>to fill the silence when Ronan stood up abruptly. “Wanna get out of here?”</p><p class="p3">Adam almost laughed; he had <em>not </em>expected that. “What?”</p><p class="p3">“Do you want to get the fuck out of here? With me?” Ronan asked, a hopeful glint in his eye.</p><p class="p3">Adam tried not to read that much into it—he could just be <em>bored </em>or trying to be polite or mature or—. No, no, Ronan doesn’t say shit he doesn’t mean. Ronan was standing in front of him, genuinely asking if he wanted to join him.<em>Fuck, </em>Adam though once again.</p><p class="p3">“Uh, yeah, okay,” he said hastily, grabbing a stack of bills from his wallet and leaving it on the table with his mostly eaten pizza. If he was his past self (or if anyone other than Ronan Lynch was in front of him right now) he’d worry about wasting the remaining 2 slices, but a strange kind of adrenaline was coursing through him, now, and he didn’t have it in him to care.</p><p class="p3">Adam followed him out into the cold night, hands shoved into his pockets. “How’d you get here?” Ronan asked, scanning the parking lot.</p><p class="p3">“I walked.”</p><p class="p3">“You walked? From Fox Way?”</p><p class="p3">Adam nodded, embarrassed. “Not like I have a car here.”</p><p class="p3">Ronan shrugged then gestured to the BMW, looking as perfect as ever. Adam silently followed him, slipping into the passenger seat. It was so familiar, sitting next to Ronan with only the gear shift between them, that Adam wanted to cry.</p><p class="p3">“Where to?” he asked, wondering if Ronan was just offering him a ride home.</p><p class="p3">“Nowhere,” Ronan smiled, starting the engine and pulling out of Nino’s and into the empty roads of pitch black December night.</p><p class="p3">It was nice, driving with Ronan again, even if they were both quiet, thick tension between them. After ten minutes or so, Ronan pulled over, killing the engine and sitting back deeper into his seat. Adam felt warm and scared and strange.</p><p class="p3">“Ronan—“</p><p class="p3">“This doesn’t have to mean anything,” Ronan spit out, eyes looking anywhere but Adam’s. “I know you’re in LA now and you’re only here for the weekend . . . Just, fuck, seeing you there tonight? After years of still— . . . years of not seeing you or hearing from you? I just—“</p><p class="p3">“I know,” Adam whispered. Though he didn’t know, did he? The first year, he’d asked Gansey about how Ronan was doing, trying to check up on him through their mutual friend. But Gansey only ever gave him half-answers (“he’s doing better” or “Opal’s keeping him entertained”) and eventually he stopped asking. It was a dead zone between them; something Adam had to give up on. Or <em>thought </em>he had to. “I’m sorry, Ronan. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I should have—“</p><p class="p3">“Stop, Adam,” Ronan said, shaking his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s been five fucking years, okay? Let’s just call it even. We don’t need to talk about it.”</p><p class="p3">Adam nodded, a choking feeling building in his throat. “Then why did you bring me out here?”</p><p class="p3">Ronan scoffed. “Really?”</p><p class="p3">Adam blushed, embarrassed. He <em>knew </em>why he was here, but he needed Ronan to say it. To confirm it. To prove to him that this wasn’t all in his head. “Yes, Ronan. If you didn’t want to talk, then why the fuck did you drive me out into the middle of nowhere?”</p><p class="p3">“For a Harvard grad, you’re pretty fucking dumb, Parrish,” Ronan said before leaning over and kissing him. The kiss was hard and almost aggressive, years of pent up regret and guilt and <em>missing</em> pushed into one single kiss. Adam pressed in closer to Ronan, wrapping his arms around his neck and tugging their chests together, and instinctually tugged on a loose strand of his hair. It was strange, kissing Ronan with hair, but Adam liked it. Liked the soft feel of it under his hands, like the whimpering noise Ronan made when he pulled. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” Adam said against his lips.</p><p class="p3">Why had Adam given this up? Why did he choose the road he did? This road—Ronan, Virginia, being loved—seemed like a much better option than corporate Los Angeles.</p><p class="p3">The answers escaped him as Ronan began nipping at his ear and all he could do was close his eyes and lean back in ecstasy. Ronan smiled wickedly, firmly placing a hand against his chest as he continued to kiss down his neck.</p><p class="p3">“I missed you, babe,” Ronan grumbled against him. <em>Babe. </em>The stupid pet name from years ago made Adam grow even hotter, the short syllable somehow turning him on even more. </p><p class="p3">“Ronan, stop—“ he said suddenly, realizing where this was going.</p><p class="p3">“You don’t want this?” Ronan asked, pain clear on his face.</p><p class="p3">“No, Ronan, you know I do,” Adam told him, stroking his thumb on his cheek. “That’s the problem. I can’t . . . I can’t hurt you again like that, I can’t—“</p><p class="p3">“Shh,” Ronan said, brushing his lips softly against Adams. “It’s okay, Adam. This can just be for the weekend if you want.”</p><p class="p3">Adam shook his head, hands clasped around both of his cheeks, holding onto Ronan as tightly as he can now that he has him back.His words didn’t make sense to Adam—Ronan didn’t <em>do </em>casual. If they did this (whatever <em>this </em>was), it would mean something. “No, no, Ronan. I don’t want that, that’s the problem.”</p><p class="p3">Ronan laughed slightly, his thumb wiping a stray tear on Adam’s cheek. “That doesn’t seem like a problem to me.”</p><p class="p3">Adam closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts. What <em>was </em>the problem<em>? </em>He did like his life in LA, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t get here, in Virginia…He could find a job here, see Blue and Gansey more often, get back together with Ronan. “I want to, Ro, I do. I just—“ his voice cracked.</p><p class="p3">“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Adam, it’s okay,” Ronan soothed, stroking his hair. He kissed his forehead, and the tenderness of the gesture made Adam want to cry more. How long had it been since he’d felt so cared for? He’d dated on and off throughout college, but nothing serious. Nothing even remotely close to what he had with Ronan. He had just assumed he would never find love—he’d chosen his career, that was that.</p><p class="p3">But could he go back?</p><p class="p3">“I missed you, Ronan. All these years. I missed your tattoo and your snarky comments and the BMW and your smile. I thought . . . I thought if I ever came back it’d hurt you all over again. That’s why I didn’t try. I wanted to, though, this whole fucking time, Ronan, I wanted to come back to you.”</p><p class="p3">“Adam,” Ronan gasped, his voice choked. “You think I ever stopped loving you, asshole?” he laughed softly. “I know why you did what you did. Why you left. I came to terms with it years ago, even though I always hoped you would come back.”</p><p class="p3">“I didn’t ask you to wait for me,” Adam said.</p><p class="p3">“I didn’t,” Ronan told him. “Just like I didn’t ask you to stay.” Adam nodded. He remembered the breakup well—Ronan arguing that they could do long-distance, but never once trying to face Adam to stay with him. Ronan cared too much about Adam, his wants and dreams, to ever try to hold him back in Virginia. “Let’s just . . slow down, okay? See where the weekend goes?”</p><p class="p3">Adam sniffled, feeling ridiculous and embarrassed but also warm and loved. He’d messed up (he’d had years to realize that) but now was a chance to make it right. “Okay, yeah.” Adam kissed him softly, breathing in the familiar scent of him. </p><p class="p3">“Yeah?”</p><p class="p3">“Yeah, what the hell,” Adam smiled against his lips. “Tis the season, and all that.”</p><p class="p3">“Tis the <em>damn</em> season, Parrish,” Ronan smirked before pulling him closer and kissing him again.</p><p class="p2">-----</p><p class="p2">When he arrived back at Fox Way, well past midnight, face flushed and skin glinting with sweat, Blue raised her eyebrows at him. Adam had a good feeling one or her aunts used her psychic abilities to fill her in on where Adam might have been all night, and the thought made him blush deeper. </p><p class="p2">"Fun night?" Blue asked after a moment of silence.</p><p class="p2">Adam just slapped her playfully on the arm, sinking down onto the bed beside her. "Oh, shut up." </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>again....this was kind of OOC and all over the place, but I hope you still enjoyed it. I'm planning on doing a Gold Rush pynch fic, too, so hopefully will get that out later this week. I'm always open to TS Pynch song suggestions so leave a comment if you have an idea :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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